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REBUTTAL: KOBE BELONGS IN PRISON…

By The Funk on January 24, 2006.


…where “not in my no-no place!” definitely means “yes.”

True, forcibly sodomizing a much smaller, teenaged girl isn’t much of a challenge, but then again, neither is going off on the Craptors (they lost to Yaniv Green and his Israeli team) . For a guy whose championships are over, that had 2 titles faked and given to him (WCF VS. Portland? Sacto? Huge leads miraculously dispappearing in the most statistically one-sided and flawed manner in the history of the game, coincidentally… neh, mysteriously)…

and then cried like a little bitch on the Spurs’ Stephen Jackson’s shoulder when he lost on national tv…

whose productivity in assists and boards are near career lows (bye bye titles)…

81 points, obviously playing past when the game was decided, launching treys and dunking and grandstanding when the other team is already defeated (2000 playoffs Spurs fans? I was there, bleeding Silver&Black, being told by Mario Elie our Spurs were going to lose and saw Sobe bombing and dunking while up 20+ late in the 4th); Ol’ Funktiger here is completely unimpressed. My mouth is open because I’m yawning or puking.

The Indy Star reminds us of the words of Saint David Robinson, who as we know accoding to the Gospel of the Admiral 71:3/4, scored 71 in 3 quarters Then Satteth Out Thine 4th For He Is Divine With Grace And Class:

On a single midwinter night’s possession eight years back, Kobe Bryant proved his idea of a perfect three-on-one fast break — me, myself and I.

Bryant was a teenager in the NBA All-Star Game then, going eneration to generation with Michael Jordan in Madison Square Garden, when he stole the ball, threw a wraparound bounce pass to his favorite receiver, and made a basket that brought down the house.

Passing to yourself,” (Saint) David Robinson would say. “Now that’s a real statement.”

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Comments

  1. Bramlet Abercrombie January 29, 2006

    “Fucked in the Pooper 1-5″: for those lonely nights when 90 minutes of anal sex just isn’t enough.

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