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Death to those who insult AlKiwi (peace be upon Him)!

By Daniel Strickland on February 9, 2006.

Recently, this crude depiction of Spurs player Sean Marks (all praise is due to AlKiwi) appeared in an Oakland newspaper:

We in the Kiwi community are sick of being inundated with images of violent and uncoordinated New Zealanders. The most glaring example of this is that celebrated piece of Hollywood blasphemy, The Lord of the Rings, which was simply a smear campaign against New Zealand orchestrated by the infidels at New Line Cinema. They’re counting on the simple, uncritical minds of the masses to accept their presentation of New Zealand as a haven for goofy, curly-haired fanatics wielding swords:

This constant reinforcement of tired and inaccurate stereotypes by the mass media must be stopped. Such stereotypes are simply not true, as Sean Marks has proven repeatedly, now that he has finally had a chance to play significant minutes. Against the Blazers last week, Sean (to Whom all credit must be given) had 7 rebounds in 15 minutes. Against the Warriors, we here at SpursDynasty watched him rack up 8 key points in 12 minutes. And finally, against the Raptors last night, he had 16 points, including a thunderous putback dunk, along with 5 rebounds, some nice passes, and a block on Antonio Davis. And he’s done all of this without committing any suicide bombings or being photographed in any awkward positions. But you won’t hear about that in your biased Western media. Ptah!

I hereby declare a SpursDynasty fatwa against those who continue to insult AlKiwi, Sean Marks (all blessings and praise be upon Him). Not only will you burn in the eternal fires of damnation in the next world, but I will also ensure that you suffer horribly before you pass from this world.

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