Eva Longoria: "I’m the teacher" and other comments

Once again, everyone’s talking about Eva Longoria and Tony Parker.

Actually, I have a pretty positive impression of her and of her relationship with Tony – for one thing, people close to the team have said some positive things about her and seem to think that their relationship is serious and healthy. I also like the fact that she comes to a lot of the games, including road games in Oakland and perhaps elsewhere. Even better, since Tony got together with her, he has transformed into one of the best players in the league. Any Spurs fan in his right mind should be rooting for their relationship to continue on, happily ever after.

Hmmm…maybe if she slept with everyone on the team…

Nah. That might cause a problem.

Having kissed her lovely ass, I must now say that her comment to Allure about her grandmother is a little disturbing: she told the interviewer that her family has had to keep it a secret from her grandmother that Tony is black, because her grandmother would disapprove. You don’t have to call out your grandmother in the media for being racist, Eva! In general, I appreciate your candor, but some things are better kept to yourself.

There’s also a lot of talk, including some outrage, believe it or not, about her supposed comment that she’s the teacher in the bedroom. From what I can tell, that comment is being taken out of context – it appears that she was referring to their relationship in general, not sex. But people love to have something to make a lot of hubbub and hullabaloo and ballyhoo about.

Personally, I don’t give two shits of a lamb’s ass. I’m only posting this in the hope of getting some more traffic to this site. To anyone who’s reading this because you just did a google search for “Eva Longoria Tony Parker teacher bedroom sex,” or “Tony Parker Eva Longoria Allure grandmother,” or perhaps “Tony Parker public humiliation no good in the sack,” I invite you to read some of our much more interesting and substantial content below and stop wasting your time with this kind of crap.


  1. Wait a second man. whaddaya think the teacher’s gonna look like this year ?
    My butt, man !
    T-t-teacher stop that screaming, teacher don’t you see ?
    Don’t wanna be no uptown fool.
    Maybe I should go to hell, but I’m doin’ well,
    Teacher needs to see me after school.
    I think of all the education that I missed.
    But then my homework was never quite like this.
    Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad,
    I’m hot for teacher.
    I got it bad, so bad,
    I’m hot for teacher.
    Hey, I heard you missed us, we’re back !
    I brought my pencil
    Gimme something to write on, man
    I heard about your lessons, but lessons are so cold.
    I know about this school.
    Little girl from cherry lane, how did you get so bold ?
    How did you know that golden rule ?
    (guitar solo)
    Oh man, I think the clock is slow
    I don’t feel tardy
    Class dismissed

  2. According to Eva, she is only Tony’s second partner!

    Too bad, Tony could have had a lot of fun while playing in France.

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: