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Welcome to My Various Social Disorders

By Michael Erler on August 30, 2006.

Hi. Hello there!

Like the other three amigos on SpursDynasty, I feverishly follow the last honorable professional sports club in America. Why do I like them? Well, I just kinda sorta climbed aboard the David Robinson train in 1989. (Please note that the phrase “climb aboard the David Robinson train” would take on a decidedly different meaning among NBA groupies from 1990-1993.)

I liked that a 7 foot dude could run fast and dribble and make commercials that made fun of Mr. Rogers. I liked the cool uniforms too (still do, in fact). Mainly, as a kid growing up in the bay area, I was just looking for a different option than the Lakers, Bulls, or lame-0 Warriors. Yes, Run-TMC was a tempting option for some, but even at a young age, I instictively was turned off by teams that couldn’t D up, perhaps because I myself was terrible and uncoordinated on offense and was only good at shotblocking in my early teens. Seems we have come full circle with the Warriors btw (see below).

What does all that have to do with the here and now? Absolutely nothing. The Admiral made it damn hard to root for him sometimes since he turned into a total Jesus nut, but I suppose it’s better than committing triple homicide or even worse, acting the fool like TO. Still, I stuck with him and the Spurs through thick and thin, and was rewarded for my patience with first Tim Duncan, the best PF in history, and then Manu Ginobili, the most fun player to watch in history.

According to Bramlet, I’ve had quite the firsthand view of Manu’s exploits since I reside next to his nutsack, but how can I possibly insult anyone named Bramlet worse than his parents already did?

Anyway, I don’t have much to say about the Spurs as they are in the offseason, and I don’t feel like rehashing the grizzly details of ’05-06. Suffice it to say, if the man upstairs told any Spurs fan that ’04-05 would end the way it did, but only with ’05-06 ending the way it did, everyone would’ve made that trade.

I will point out a few things however…

  • I like how Beno Udrih and Fabricio Oberto have played in the WBCs and hopefully these guys have regained some confidence after having it systematically sucked out of their bodies by Count Popovich.
  • I like even more that Tony Parker (who I dubbed “Frenchie McWonderbutt”) hurt his thumb and couldn’t play. Not that I hate the guy. I just don’t want him to spend his whole summer hurtling his delicate French body into a bunch of angry smelly Europeans or practicing his oft-discussed three-pointer. Mr. Langoria needs to shoot threes like I need more hair on my butt.
  • From the little snippets I’ve read and heard thus far, we mighta gotten a steal in Knicks castoff Jackie Butler to be our big man, and lord knows that getting rid of Nazr is addition by subtraction.
  • Call me a dope, but I like Bones Barry. In fact, he’s my 3rd favorite Spur at the moment, so I’m more than happy that against all odds, he’s still on the roster. I realize that any second that might no longer the case, but at least the FO has shown the good sense thus far to not trade him for a complete fucktard like J.R. Smith.

Let’s see, what else is going on? Yes, sure a certain big nosed shooting guard seems to be doing well for himself on Team Argentina. But I will not jinx it. No I will not. Actually, I’m Turkish, so I should be extremely angry we lost in the quarters to them 83-58, right? Yes. Oooh, I’m sooo pissed. I’m so filled with blind, magma-hot rage, I can’t even talk about the game.

Also, I didn’t see it live since A) Only a complete sociopath would be awake at 3:30 am on a school night and B) ESPN2 reneged on its programming schedule and decided to go with a televised radio broadcast instead.

That’s right, a metrosexual and a fatty, with the two of them in aggregate forming one moderately knowledgeable sports fan, doing a radio broadcast but with a camera outside their booth is apparently more compelling television than the World Basketball Championships. I guess ESPN figured if Howard Stern on TV could get ratings then this is basically the same thing.

On a related note, this network gainfully employs Stuart Scott.

I could go on for why I despise the Worldwide Leader (both of them actually) for days and days, and perhaps I will on a later date. For now I just wanted to introduce myself and tell y’all that I’ll be bloggin’ about the Spurs after every even-numbered game they play (yes I’m aware how retarded that sounds).

I’m a senior at SDSU –that’s San Diego, not South Dakota, but politically there’s surprisingly little difference- and also, if you’re interested in seeing some of my writing, non-sports division, you can go to thedailyaztec.com and type “Erler” in the search box for my columns.

Also, these days what’s mainly on my mind is the NFL in general and my Philadelphia Eagles in particular. Don’t ask why. I really liked Randall Cunningham growing up, and again the cool uniforms. Oddly, he also became a Jesus nut. Anyway I couldn’t be more excited about the upcoming season. I was happy to begin with because we shitcanned this guy, but now I’m even more geeked because we traded for this guy.

Between football and school starting up again it’s hard to pay hoops much mind, but once November rolls around, I’m sure the itch will come back. If I had my best friend’s girlfriend the itch would never go away, but that’s a whole different matter.

Regardless, I’m sure I’ll write a little something after the semis of the WBC, if I ever get to see them. Meanwhile, little tidbits like this story help to serve as a powerful reminder why the NBA is by far the looniest league in all the land. First the Raiders re-hire Art Shell, then the other day they sign Jeff George, and now the Warriors go out with the ultimate topper. The crack in Oakland must have gotten even crackier.

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Comments

  1. Bramlet Abercrombie September 10, 2006

    Great first post, man. A few thoughts:

    I have a pretty good view of Manu’s Member as well. No shame in that. I just happen to like Frenchie McWonderbutt, too, despite his obvious shortcomings. He’s no Manu and never will be, but he’s still improving.

    I think both Beno and Fabri will get more PT this year and have a better chance to show what they can do. I love Beno as long as he’s not coughing the ball up under full-court pressure. That’s a pretty serious flaw for a point guard, but he does a lot of things well, and he’s still young. I like Fabri, too, but it’s hard to put a vertically challenged PF/C tweener on the court for extended periods in this era of athletic big men, especially when TD is physically limited. He’ll find a way to make some shit happen, though, as long as he’s put in the right situations.

    By the way, I doubt Count Popovich has affected Fabri’s confidence at all, and Beno probably needed to be beaten down before they could build him back up, anyway. I have to admit, though, that it was excruciatingly painful watching him back up Nick the Brick all season long.

    I’m a big Bones fan as well, but with an aging roster and low draft picks, I can’t blame the Spurs for wanting to gamble on a young, athletic fucktard. I suspect they still would have pulled that trigger after the season, but the Hornets simply had more trade options after everyone else in the league found out that the Spurs’ often-imitated braintrust was willing to trade Brent Barry to get him – during a season in which the Spurs were championship contenders, no less.

    I’m totally with you on the ESPN2 rant. It’s hard to believe that lame-ass radio shit could get higher ratings than a World Basketball Championships quarterfinal game. I’d watch the Canadian Curling Championships before I’d watch those losers. I WAS up at 3:30 to witness that scheduling travesty with my own eyes, and yes, I’m clearly a sociopath.

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