And their uniforms are stupid too…

John Hollinger of ESPN.com says that on a per 40 minutes basis, that Jackie Butler is the 6th best center in the NBA and Beno Udrih is the 23rd best point guard.

Frankly, this kind of thing has me upset already and the season hasn’t started yet. Whenever the bench struggles behind the play of Findog, Roho, Bonner, Elson and Bones we’re going to have stupid ammunition to fire at Pop like, “C’mon dude, don’t you know your 11th and 12th men are good enough to be NBA starters?”

Conversely, when Beno and Butler do play and inevitably struggle, we’ll be screaming, “Why the hell are you playing these bums? You gonna let John freakin’ Hollinger set your rotation you dope? Why not have him call the plays too you zit-faced wino?

All this anger means I think I’m ready for the season to start.

And since our first game will be at Dallas, I made a top ten list to cheer y’all up.

Top Ten Reasons Mark Cuban Is Just Like Adolf Hitler

10. Not a German, but strangely drawn to Germans.

9. Blames all of his problems on some Jewish guy.

8. Initially a real positive influence on their organizations, but shortly
after, not so much.

7. Lots of trash-talking, little actual participating.

6. Both married blondes they weren’t attracted to. Not even remotely.

5. One was a narcissistic fascist; the other has a narcissistic fascist blog.

4. If either invites you to take a shower, run the f@#k away.

3. Neo-Mavs fans claim the Dallas’ embarrassing choke job in the
Finals “never happened.”

2. Awful haircut.

1. You kick their ass, you get a parade.

1 Comment

  1. Bramlet Abercrombie

    And what about the book burnings, historical revisionism, and jingoistic oompah music? Well, at least Cuban doesn’t give vegetarians a bad name. Anyway, let’s hope he goes out the same way Adolf supposedly did – unable to face the consequences of his megalomaniacal reign of terror, he takes his own life with his gang of mercenaries on the verge of defeat at the hands of the Spurs, who proceed to liberate the Western Conference from the oppressive Maverick regime in heroic fashion. Amazingly, that would probably make the Spurs’ subsequent vanquishing of the evil Snaquille “Deal a Meal” O’Neal seem anticlimactic in comparison. But I’ll take that ending anyway.

    It’s going to be a great fucking season.