The Funk: “Come on, don’t let the boy down, Brent. Gah?”
Bramlet: “Hi, hello. Are ya good, Brent? Let me make a Pearl Jam mix for you. Please? To keep you busy while you wait thirty days to make it official? Come on. You’ll have a lot of time to kill. You’re already gonna be hanging out in San Antonio. Just say yes to me making a Pearl Jam mix for you. Don’t look away. I honestly and sincerely would like to make a PJ mix for you.”
The Funk: “He’s a good, hard-working boy. Let him make a mix for you. Eh—”
Bramlet: “Hey, look who’s here. Nice to see you again, Brent. You look great. Let me wear your uniform. Don’t shake your head no. Let me wear your uniform! You’re not gonna need it for a while anyway. Please let me wear your uniform? Nothin’ weird’s gonna happen. You can trust me. I’ll even wash it before you come back. How’s that? Please?”
The Funk: “Sweet mother of GOD, WHAT IS THE HOLDUP? LET THE BOY WEAR YOUR DAMN UNIFORM! HE SAID HE’D WASH IT FOR YOU! Eah?”
Bramlet: “Please don’t make me wash your uniform.”
The Funk: “HE’S A CLEAN BOY. WASH YOUR OWN DAMN UNIFORM. FOR GOD’S SAKE! Ezeh…”
Bramlet: “Let me move in with you, please. When you come back to the Spurs, don’t make me leave. Please? Let me move in with you. I’ll push all my things into the corner. That’ll be my little area. Please? I won’t bother you. You don’t even have to look at me. Just let me move in with you, please. I’d like an answer, and I’d like that answer to be yes. Please? I’ve already worn your uniform. If you didn’t want me to move in, why’d you let me wear your uniform? Just let me move in with you, please?”
The Funk: “Can we STOP THIS CRUEL GAME AND ALLOW THE BOY TO KEEP ONE SHRED OF DIGNITY? FOR GOD’S SAKE! I CAN’T STAND TO SEE HIM IN ALL THIS PAIN! YOU VICIOUS BASTARD! LET HIM MOVE IN WITH YOU! IS IT SO BAD TO SEE SOMEBODY HAPPY?! SO JUST LET HIM MOVE IN! FOR THE LOVE…OF GOD…LET THE BOY MOVE IN WITH YOU! GOOD LORD!”
Bramlet: “If you just come back to the Spurs, Brent, I won’t move in. Just don’t embarrass yourself and hurt your worshipful fans by going to the Shaq-ass-licking Suns. Please? The Spurs’ track record speaks for itself. I’m confident you’ll make the right decision.”
