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Lakers Voodoo Ritual

By Daniel Strickland on May 23, 2008.

Long time readers of SpursDynasty know that Bramlet Abercrombie is a big believer in voodoo. In keeping with his ritual of bringing down the wrath of the vodun on the opponent, Bramlet has supplied us this downloadable PDF.


Click here to download

What you do with this is, of course, up to you, but Bramlet recommends that you:
  • Cast Pop-Pops (or some variant such as “Party Snaps” or “Snap Dragons”) upon the photos. This is most effective if done while muttering obscenities about the players’ ancestors. If you do this properly, the players should be covered with gunpowder residue by the time you’re finished.
  • Burn the photos. The best way to do this is to hold the flame under each player to create an expanding circle of black ash where his face used to be, until the paper catches fire. There’s something vicious enough about this method that one has the feeling that the player senses a disturbance in the force from afar.
  • Toss the remains of the photos into the toilet as they burn, and flush them down. This way of adding insult to injury is the ultimate indignity for a bling-sporting NBA stud.
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