Well That Just Happened

I know this will come off immature, but all in all yesterday might have been one of the 50 worst days of my life. Probably 30 of those involve sports, in one way or another.

The whole day was filled with bad omens. I was scheduled to do this radio interview with some LA Times Lakers blog, I think, and it was supposed to be like 20 minutes long and start at 11:15 a.m. my time. But because I procrastinated and got distracted and took too long to finish a soccer article for the newspaper I work for, I couldn’t leave my place until like 11. Right before I left I checked my phone’s battery and it had two out of three bars. I contemplated taking my charger along, just in case, and decided it wouldn’t be necessary.

The plan all along would be to do the interview at a parking lot of the Chili’s in San Bruno so I could watch the Champions League final between Manchester United and Chelsea afterward before rushing through the usual Wednesday drudgery of collecting police blotters around the peninsula. But because I was late I was driving around some low reception areas and I had a hell of a time getting connected to those guys. I think I hung up on them accidentally once.

When I finally got through, we did chat, and for a long time, but the whole conversation just didn’t feel right. I mean, I know it was only my third radio spot, so it’s not like I’ve had a lot of experience to know what I’m talking about, but the thing just didn’t have any flow at all. We kept interrupting each other, talking over each other, and at other times there was just dead air. A couple of my jokes landed with a sickening thud. I think a part of the problem was that the guys probably weren’t radio pros like Steve Mason is – they were writers first, like me – but obviously a huge share of the blame falls on me as well. When my segment was over they couldn’t say good bye to me fast enough and I highly doubt they’ll have me back.

When that spot ended I noticed a persistent beeping on my phone, and wouldn’t you know it, it’s out of juice. It was way too far to go back home and get my charger but I needed to do something, as I had another interview scheduled for 2:25 (with Mason). So I went to the nearby mall and blew $32 on another charger. By the time I got to Chili’s, the soccer game was 20 minutes in.

The game was going decent enough, both sides had some chances, but I just couldn’t get into it. I was too bummed about how the radio thing went and at the money I wasted. I felt a little better when Chelsea tied it up right before half (I love Manu, I despise Man U). Both teams squandered some chances in the second half and when overtime started I realized there was a good chance I’d miss the ending of the game if it went to penalty kicks. My second spot was scheduled for 2:25 p.m.

Wouldn’t you know it, penalty kicks came. I don’t know why but for some god forsaken morbid reason the team I root for never wins penalty kicks. I think my lifetime record is something like 2-57 or something. Probably because I root for Team England against everyone but Turkey and the U.S. Obviously when that Portuguese ponce Ronaldo (the A-Rod of international soccer) missed his kick, I was elated. I hate that guy. When the phone rang the fourth round of kicks had ended and it was 4-3 Chelsea. All they had to do was make their last one or Man U had to miss theirs and Chelsea would win.

But I left the restaurant and did the interview.

It went okay, but not great. I didn’t feel that I had near the chemistry with the guys as I did before. The last time I was on the producer said I was great, made smalltalk with me and was very enthusiastic about having me back. This time he just mumbled “Thanks” and hung up. My friend Jeremy said I came off as arrogant. Wonderful. I suck at radio.

Anyway, I went back inside to Chili’s to see what I missed, and of course I see Man U celebrating. Apparently John Terry, the Chelsea captain, missed his kick, Man U made theirs, and two rounds later some French guy had his kick saved and that was that. Right about then I was officially worried about the Spurs game.

No matter how well the Spurs were playing, no matter how big their lead was, I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. A large part of it was Kobe. He was so passive and willing to give the ball up in the first half, it didn’t feel like he was even in the game. It’s not like we were shutting him down, he was shutting himself down. A bigger reason I was concerned though was Manu. He was playing terribly. In the 1st quarter Vladimir Rodmanovic, of all people, had scored on him repeatedly, to the point of the Lakers running plays for him and isolating him and everything. Offensively it wasn’t going any better. Manu still couldn’t get to the rim, he looked stuck in quicksand, and his vertical looked about as impressive as mine. Worse still, he had some bandage on the tip of his middle shooting finger and it was probably affecting his jumper. At least that’s what I was telling myself.

The Spurs were still winning though, and at times, winning big. Tim was magnificent and thoroughly running roughshod over Gasol, as I figured he would if Phil Jackson foolishly single covered him. That theory about “length” bothering Duncan more than size is so much bunk. Nothing bothers Timmy except inconsistency. Dealing with different defenses, different guys, different refs, that’s what causes him problems. A foul in Game 3 isn’t a foul in Game 5. A foul in the 2nd quarter isn’t a foul in the 4th. That drives Duncan crazy. I don’t care if Bill Russell in his prime guards him, if it’s single coverage and the refereeing is consistent, Timmy will figure him out before long.

Tony was also playing amazingly well. He had 12 points and five dimes at the half, he was running the offense smoothly, and like I expected, Fisher couldn’t do anything at the other end if Parker stayed at home on him. Bruce was doing a good job of not giving Kobe anything easy and other guys like Fab and Ime were chipping in, playing very solidly. By the middle of the third quarter we were up 20, 65-45, and the game looked all but over. The series was going to be on our racket, all we’d have to do was win the three home games. I couldn’t believe it was going to be this easy, even with Manu playing like crap.

It all changed when Bruce picked up his 3rd foul, with 5:40 to go in the 3rd. Pop panicked and took Bowen out of the game. Ime would have to guard Kobe. The MVP’s eyes opened, his ears perked up and he went to work. The way the Kobester treated Blotch was illegal in 22 states, but not, unfortunately, California. It bordered on cruel, really. Udoka quickly picked up a bunch of fouls and to the surprise of absolutely no one, Ginobili fared only a fraction better against Bryant. Nobody on our team outside of Bowen has a prayer against him. I think Pop screwed up big time removing Bowen from the game at that stage, but even taking him out, the substitution would be explainable if he trapped Kobe for the rest of the quarter. Make somebody else beat you. You can’t guard him the same way without Bruce that you do with Bruce. You just can’t. You think the refs will give Ime Freakin’ Udoka a break in Los Angeles against Kobe? That’s retarded, Pop.

Things got even worse in the 4th quarter. Duncan started to get doubled and stopped scoring. At times he had open jumpers and refused to take them, passing out to Udoka instead. Our three point shooters – Manu included – were ice cold, going 1 for 9. The paint was closed off for Tony, but he w
asn’t getting as much room for his jumper either. The whole offense crumpled in a corner and died. The team shot 3 of 21 and committed seven turnovers. Nothing worked. It felt like what being trapped in a small room and realizing that the oxygen is running out must feel like. I was beside myself. I haven’t felt like this since the last three innings of Game 6 of the ’02 World Series.

The refs were doing us no favors in the fourth, for sure. One critical ball, clearly poked out of bounds by Lamar Odom, was ruled to be off Timmy. Our big three couldn’t buy a call on offense. Kobe pushed off on Bruce for the winning jumper and there was no call. At the end, after Manu missed his last three, he looked like he was going to collect the rebound off a deflection, but all of a sudden Odom yanked him down violently and there was no call. A whistle there and it’d have been a loose ball foul, two free throws, and probably a tie game.

But when you’re up 20 halfway through the 3rd and lose, you can’t blame the refs. You just can’t. We blew this game. We blew a really big opportunity, simple as that. These playoffs are a gauntlet the likes of which our guys have never faced before and it’s not going to be easy no matter how much we wish it so. We already have five playoff losses. We had four all of last year. Last year was cake.

Where we go from here is the question. The positive – the ONLY positive – is that we know we can play with these guys, even in their building. They’re not going to run us out of there like the Hornets did. We respect them too much for that to happen. And this time Pop knew from the beginning to put Bowen on the right guy, so that helps.

I don’t know how much of a factor fatigue and having to sleep on the plane was. The team looked dead tired in the fourth. But every game the rest of the way will be played with just one day off, even the ones where the teams have to travel in between. It remains to be seen if the Spurs, collectively, have the legs to pull this off.

As Buck Harvey pointed out, Manu will have one day to sleep in a comfortable bed and spend time in the whirlpool, but I don’t know how much he’ll be able to relax after his Game 1. I don’t think he’s ever played a worse game in the NBA. Offensively, shooting, driving, the turnovers, the defense, the intangibles, clutch time, there wasn’t a single facet of the game where he wasn’t awful. He was 2nd worst on the team with a -19 and truthfully they looked better with him off the floor.

Manu cannot go out like this. He simply cannot. He wasn’t even being guarded by Kobe. Instead it was Sasha Vujacic, a shrimpy, goofy-looking Slovenian who has dubbed himself “The Machine.” Can you imagine Beno Udrih calling himself “The Machine?” Maybe on the dance floor. Manu has to put this guy in his place and play much, much better the rest of the way. The finger is not an excuse. The ankle is not an excuse. Whatever his injury issues are, they’re not causing him to make turnovers, dumb decisions, or playing passive defense. They’re not making him take contested shots. Take Vujacic off the dribble, with no help, barrel down the lane and either shoot your floater or draw the damn foul. If you can’t move then pass well and make your threes. Be an asset instead of an asshead. You’re too good not to be.

To his credit Manu was a stand-up guy in the interview room, as you knew he would be. He blamed himself for playing poorly and not his teammates or his injuries. Still, Pop wasn’t helping him any. Again, the play calls are ridiculously predictable. Pop willfully makes the team easy to play against. Every single time Manu gets the ball, it’s at the top of the key with a screener coming over. There’s never a give and go. There’s never a back cut. No isolation play or baseline pick and roll. He’s about as inventive with Manu as Mike Brown is with LeBron. I don’t know why Pop doesn’t trust himself to call plays in half court the way he does in sideline out of bounds situations. He can be a good playcaller when he wants to be, but in open play it’s the same sets over and over.

Also, Pop blew it big time not playing Oberto more. Fab is playing well these days and I don’t understand why he only got 12 minutes. As long as both Gasol and Odom are in the game, we have no excuse to not stay big. It was working fine. I don’t understand the pressing need Pop had to have Michael Finley in the game. At this stage he’s a spot player at best. If Udoka is the team’s sixth man, then Finley should be like tenth. I’d rather see Barry out there, I’d rather see Kurt Thomas. Finley killed us last night. Also, seriously, never play Jacque Vaughn again. He can’t guard anybody, he can’t score on anybody, just please spare us already.

Game 2 will be here before we know it. I have no idea how much this team has left in the tank emotionally or physically. We can’t afford to go down 2-0 to these guys because coming back from that hole, twice in a row, is too much to ask, even for the Spurs. We have to somehow play better in the second halves of these road games, especially offensively. We have to find a way to score in the paint consistently. We have to get to the line more, we have to make more threes, more easy baskets. 85 points will not be enough.

Again, the goal remains the same. Win all the home games, win one out of four road games. We still have three more chances, theoretically. It was only one loss.

So why does it feel like more than that?

P.S. Tomorrow I’m gonna be on sometime in the 1 o’clock hour pacific time with Mason and J.A. Adande. I’ve actually heard of him. They’re going to be merciless. Game 2 cannot come here fast enough.

7 Comments

  1. Michael

    I think these recaps are the only things that get me through the loses.

    We’re a better team than we played last night. I know we are.

    We have to want it though. We have to really want it.

  2. Webmeister

    I listened to your podcast interview with the LA Times guys. You did sound arrogant on that show too. And you also made little sense. Your argument about the Spurs being the team of the decade because they dominated the middle years of the decade made little or no sense.
    vr, Xei

  3. The Dude Abides

    A couple things: no fouls were called during the scrum on the final rebound because everyone is fouling each other. The LA Times Sports page cover photo has Horry, Odom, and Manu going after that ball, and Horry is basically just molesting Odom.

    Phil Jackson sarcastically gave Sasha that nickname before this season, because he always shot so well in practice but sucked during games. Then this season happened, and Sasha started getting 20-pt games, and the Laker announcers started calling him The Machine every time he caught the ball. Morons like Doug Collins don’t do their research. He’s been repeating that line about Sasha calling himself The Machine for the entire playoffs.

    Gasol definitely fouled Duncan on that ball that went out of bounds, but there was a makeup call next play so no advantage gained. There were also plenty of bad calls or non-calls that went against the Lakers. But when a bad call goes in your team’s favor, you tend to forget about it. Remember the clean steal by Fisher when he batted the ball from underneath out on the perimeter and got called for a foul? I believe your guys scored on that possession. And then there was the play where Bowen grabbed Kobe’s jersey as he backed off him in the post, causing Kobe to fall on his keister and call a timeout.

    If the refs are letting plays like that go, they’re definitely not going to call a miniscule forearm by Kobe in the final minute that caused Bowen to “accidentally” fall twelve feet backwards. Same thing with the final rebound scrum, where Kobe rebounded the ball and Horry mugged him, then shoved Odom into Manu as everyone lunged for it.

    Or maybe you want to sound like a Suns fan?

  4. Dingo

    I just listened to your interview with the Kamenetzky Brothers on “Purple, Gold and Blue.” Don’t be so hard on yourself. And don’t pay too much attention to playa haters like “webmeister.” (Welcome, Lakers fans!)

    Ok, so your delivery was off at times and your humor didn’t always jive with theirs. You interrupted each other a few times. But you didn’t sound arrogant. And you made some great points — Gasol’s role, Duncan’s need for consistency, etc. Nice jab about Oberto resembling a certain adult film star. Considering this was just your third radio interview, ever, you did well.

    Btw, I enjoyed hearing them describe the Spurs-Lakers series as, “dynasty versus dynasty. I think this is really the series — as much fun as it would have been to see New Orleans — this is the series I think most people wanted to see.”

  5. anonymous

    stu lantz the local tv commentator (play by play) for the Lakers dubbed Sasha the Machine. he did not come up with that name for himself. doug collins said that too during game 2. sasha has his faults but, he did not make up that nic.

  6. Anonymous

    I heard your interview on the LA Times Lakers Blog, and you sounded inexperienced and foolish. You failed to understand the host’s jokes, which was most often simple sarcasm, and had horrible logic as to why the Spurs can own the decade over the Lakers.

  7. Jonny

    i didnt hear your interview, but i wouldn’t feel bad about it, those guys are just starting out on radio and don’t really have it down yet.

    haha im a lakers fan AND a manchester united fan. . dude, tough break for chelsea haha

    hopefully the spurs will make it a series on sunday!