Manu Ginobili tries to drive past Dwight Howard on Christmas Day 2013

The Spurs are playing Christmas Day again this year and we should be excited. The Spurs are being featured on national television, playing a weird team Rockets team that they should definitely beat, and they get to wear some pretty sweet jerseys while they do it (they’re Uni-Watch approved!).

Unfortunately, we can’t start celebrating just yet, because San Antonio has a history of poor play on Christmas. Overall, the Spurs are 4-6 when they play December 25th, and 1-4 in the Gregg Popovich era. Their last Christmas win came in 2008, when they just squeaked past the Phoenix Suns, 91-90. The last two Christmas Games were home losses, one to Oklahoma City and the other to the same Houston team they’ll face in a few days.

I don’t know why the Spurs can’t get it done when they play on Christmas, and it’s pretty irritating. The NBA always takes Christmas Eve off, so it’s not like these games are ever the second day of a tough back-to-back. Sure, the Thunder are always a tough matchup for the Spurs, and the Houston team they played two years ago was a playoff-bound squad, so these games weren’t going to be cakewalk, but it’s hard to argue that the Spurs weren’t the superior club either year.

Okay, let’s look at the bright side here. The Spurs have only lost five times so far – that’s really good! The Rockets, they’re not really good. Those McDonald’s-bag-uniform wearing fools are 14-14, good for 4th place in the Southwest Division. Of course, they’re 7-3 in their last ten games and beat the Clippers one night after San Antonio did. Maybe they’re turning a corner. Maybe they just got lucky enough to match up against the Clippers one night after their epic duel against the Spurs. I’m going to go with the latter on this one, because here are the other teams the Rockets beat on their march to .500: the Lakers – twice, Wizards, Kings, Mavericks, and the Pelicans. None of those teams are exactly setting the basketball world on fire, so I’m not too worried. You know who they lost to during that stretch? Brooklyn, Denver, and Sacramento. They beat some bad teams, lost to some bad teams, and beat one good team on the second night of a back-to-back on the road after an exceptionally physical game.

I’m starting to feel good about our chances again. You know what else the Rockets have going against them? There are at least four guys on that team who you would absolutely punch in the face if it was guaranteed there would be no repercussions. First and foremost, Jason Terry. Gah – look at how punchable he is!


Jason Terry pretending to be a airplane (Photo : Getty Images/Christian Petersen)

Look at him, running around the court pretending to be an airplane like he’s an 8-year-old. Just reading about it probably makes you want to punch something and pretend it’s Jason Terry, and that’s totally acceptable. Go punch something – this article is all about taking punch breaks. Frankly, I’d be upset if you even got this far without taking a break to punch something that reminds you of Jason Terry.

All good? Good.

The Rockets also have Trevor Ariza. Yeah, that guy who was on those good Lakers teams. Sure, he wasn’t that good, but you know that the Spurs would have like, AT LEAST three more titles if the Lakers hadn’t been so good. I forget what Trevor Ariza looks like all the time, but I still think I’d have to take that punch if given the opportunity. The Rockets also have Dwight Howard – the human zoo. I personally don’t have anything against Dwight Howard, and I can’t remember him ever doing anything unforgivable to the Spurs, but he is a nuisance, and he gives me the impression that he’s probably not very nice to old people. That has to be good enough to land him on the punch list.

Finally, there’s James Harden. James Harden is a very good basketball player, and he’s probably a cool dude, and the fact that he didn’t stay in Oklahoma City to keep the greatest trio of young players together has made me very happy. Hmm, maybe we shouldn’t punch Harden, on second thought. That one’s a toss-up. If you want to punch him because now you can’t stop thinking about that time the Spurs were up 2-0 in the Western Conference Finals against the Thunder and then lost four in a row, I wouldn’t blame you.

Speaking of James Harden, he still scares me. I could easily see him scoring 40 points against the Spurs, it just seems like such a Harden-esque thing to do. It would also be a total Spurs move to let that happen on Christmas Day on national television against a team that could very well be under .500 when they tip-off.

The Spurs should win this one. I believe the Spurs will win this one. But, if for some reason they don’t, here’s something to remember: the last time the Spurs lost to Houston on Christmas Day, they went on to win the Finals and we all had a lot of fun with that, right?

Happy holidays and Go Spurs Go!